Changes in Motivation

When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I often got in my car and drove through the finest, most exclusive neighborhoods of Houston.  I wasn't just killing time.  I did this in search of motivation, usually to go home and study.  I drove slowly through the neighborhood streets, sometimes even coming to a stop in front of homes I found especially attractive.  I saw houses with rock exteriors draped with walls of ivy.  The driveways were made of patterned stone and the flower beds were precisely trimmed. I often sat in my car and imagined how hard they had worked to have such luxury.  Wanting that sort of success for myself, I would return to my small apartment and usually begin studying.

I recently turned 39 years old.  All the studying hasn't yet produced riches, but things are always improving.  I've found that I'm now motivated by entirely different things.  Well, maybe not entirely.  I still drive around and look at pretty houses, but now it's so I can steal ideas for my own house.  I still have every intention of owning certain expensive things, too.  But it's not with the aim of impressing others.  At least, I don't think so.  I find my focus to be on other members of the Cone household: Blythe, Jakob and my unborn child (whose name is not yet determined).  It's so we can have the most comfortable situation I can provide.  That's what dads and husbands do.  That sounds syrupy and idealistic, I know.  I don't care.

But I've come to accept that becoming the CEO of Continental Airlines or somehow making $1M a year is fairly unlikely.  That's okay.  I can deal with that.  I'll make my place somewhere in the great big middle.  Still, I find a degree of comfort from a certain Porsche TV ad that communicates the idea that dreaming of having just a few "impractical, irrational and unnecessary" things for ourselves is actually, well, good.

I agree.  Now that works for me.