Writing New Chapters

Although hospitals aren't traditionally designed with the intention of being luxurious, I must say our experience there was exceedingly positive.  My iPod played a streaming channel of soft little lullabies.  I watched my wife cradle our newborn son in her arms.  He was asleep for the moment, and my wife also slowly faded in and out of a state of well-deserved sleep.  Occasionally, she caught me staring at her and smiled before drifting off again.

A few days later, we carried Elliot into the home in which he will live.  Jakob has taken to his new role of big brother naturally.  "Can I feed him, Mommy?"  Jakob asks.  "I wanna feed him."  I enjoy watching from across the living room as Jakob gazes down at the sleeping newborn cradled in his small arms.  What a calming force for me.

Perhaps it's merely the way I'm wired, but since meeting my new son, there is a renewed air of obligation that almost always weighs on me.  I am constantly being reminded that it is my responsibility to guide these boys through their lives in a meaningful way.  This new development has also stoked the fires of achievement and, therefore, I am driven to pursue greater things and, of course, earn more money.  But it's not entirely about a larger paycheck.  I find myself pondering how my two sons will perceive my life's accomplishments when they are grown.

It was a week after Elliot was born when I got the news.  I received a phone call from the Colgan Air Flight Standards department.  The interview in Memphis nine days earlier must have gone well enough, because the manager of flight standards told me that I had passed all the checks.  Then he offered me the position of check airman, which is an instructor of the SAAB 340.  I was elated and honored.  I had taken another step upward.

The landscape of my life seems to be steadily improving.  I believe that's due in large part - not entirely - to a lot of hard work.  Maybe Jakob and Elliot will understand that a steady diet of fortitude and persistence can produce almost anything they dream up.  If I'm lucky, my life will be an example of that.

And if I'm really lucky, they'll see that as an accomplishment -- regardless of my paycheck.